Being A Non-Practicing Muslim in A Religious Muslim Family

Diambil di: Masjid Ramlie Musofa, Sunter, Tangerang, Indonesia

Disclaimer: By this writing, I’m trying to express who I am by sharing about what I believe. I have no any pretention or particular intention to make anyone become like me and/or have similar view with me. Since I want anyone who reads this understand what I’m talking about, I will be writing in both mixed English and Bahasa.

Being a non-practicing (lapsed) Muslim in a religious Muslim family is not an easy thing.

Mungkin terminologi ‘Muslim non-praktisi’ secara khusus atau ‘pemercaya non-praktisi’ secara umum bukanlah sesuatu yang sering kau temui dalam bahan bacaanmu atau tayangan yang sering kau tonton, tapi terminologi itu adalah sesuatu yang umum digunakan di negara-negara Eropa, Amerika maupun negara sekuler lainnya.

All these following terminologies are cited from English Oxford Living Dictionary https://en.oxforddictionaries.com/

non-practising

(US non-practicing)

Brought up as a member of a particular religion but not following its rules and practices.

‘a non-practising Catholic’

lapsed

No longer following the rules and practices of a religion or doctrine; non-practising.

‘a lapsed Catholic’

Meanwhile, being a non-practicing believer is not same with being agnostic or even atheist.

agnostic

Noun

A person who believes that nothing is known or can be known of the existence or nature of God.

Adjective

Relating to agnostics or agnosticism.

agnosticism

(in a non-religious context) having a doubtful or non-committal attitude towards something.

‘until now I've been fairly agnostic about electoral reform’

atheist

A person who disbelieves or lacks belief in the existence of God or gods.

‘he is a committed atheist’

Seringnya pencampuran makna yang digunakan oleh orang awam atas ketiga terminologi tersebut (non-praktisi, agnostik dan atheis) menurutku membuat ruang gerak masing-masing pihak dalam ketiga golongan tersebut menjadi terbatas. Dan kurangnya pemahaman makna atas ketiga terminologi tersebut membuat upaya generalisasi umat dan implikasinya yakni ‘mengkafirkan alias mendosakan orang’ menjadi sesuatu yang biasa.

Most of my friends know that I’m a liberal-secularist person, but at the same time almost all of them misinterpret me as the person who completely lacks of faith in God. Here’s the thing, just because I’m not a religious person as in I don’t pray 5 times a day nor pray before I have my supper, doesn’t mean I become a person who completely lacks of faith in God.

Being a non-practicing believer essentially makes you a believer in the first place. But then, you just don’t practice the teaching and rules in your daily life. It means you do believe, but you just don’t practice.

Sederhananya seperti ini, kau percaya bahwa minyak kelapa itu bagus untuk perawatan kulit dan rambutmu, hanya saja kau tidak mempraktikkan dengan menggunakannya sehari-hari. Nah, hanya karena kau tidak melakukannya bukan berarti kau tidak memercayainya, kan?

As I said in the beginning of this writing, being a non-practicing Muslim in a religious Muslim family is not an easy thing. Especially since I had ever been a religious girl years ago, of course my family expects me to always become a religious girl in my entire life.

Tapi, seperti yang seringkali kubilang,

Life’s changed.

People have also undeniably changed.

I am surrounded by family members who are deeply religious. It’s my mom, my dad, my sister and also the extended family. Transitioning from a religious girl to a not-really religious one was hard, it was like… I constantly knew people were talking about me a lot but just not to my face.

Karena pada dasarnya aku adalah orang yang cuek, lebih senang memikirkan ide dan kebebasan serta kebahagiaanku sendiri, seringnya aku bersikap bodo amat terhadap pendapat orang. Meskipun demikian, tidak dapat dipungkiri pendapat-pendapat yang mencap jelek dan dengan mudahnya ‘mendosakan orang lain’ sampai kini juga kadang-kadang masih mampir di telingaku.

Facing my extended family, I try to be the type of person who always shakes it off. I do believe that no matter what you do, whether it’s bad or good, people will always comment you in the end. So, just do things that you really want to do, because you’ll get commented for sure, but you’ll also be happy eventually.

Facing my nuclear family is a different story. Mungkin karena sampai saat ini aku masih tinggal bersama orangtuaku dan bertemu setiap hari, terang-terangan bersikap bodo amat menjadi lebih sulit dilakukan. But, so far I am feeling so grateful because my parents are not the kind of parents who always force or remind their children to pray. I think praying or communicating to God is a very private matter and nobody can force about it to anybody else. Jadi, untuk urusan doa dan shalat, ayah dan ibuku tidak banyak menyuruh ataupun mengingatkanku.

Aku sebenarnya tahu bahwa terkadang mereka mungkin merasa prihatin dengan anak sulungnya yang pembangkang dan terkesan kadang ingat Tuhan-kadang tidak ini, tapi sekali lagi, kawanku, kutekankan padamu bahwa hanya karena kami sebagai pemercaya non-praktisi tidak mempraktikkan ajaran agama secara langsung, tidak berarti kami tidak berkomunikasi kepada Tuhan, lebih-lebih lagi tidak memercayai Tuhan.

Sebenarnya agak sulit untuk berbagi cerita soal menjadi Muslim non-praktisi ini, karena pada dasarnya pemercaya non-praktisi bukanlah terdiri atas Muslim non-praktisi saja. Ada juga Kristen non-praktisi, Katholik non-praktisi ataupun penganut agama lainnya yang juga non praktisi. Pada intinya, menjadi pemercaya non praktisi berarti mempercayai Tuhan dan memeluk salah satu agama untuk dapat memahami-Nya, hanya saja kita tidak benar-benar mempraktikkannya.

But it doesn’t mean that we don’t practice the teachings at all. People are different. For me, I don’t pray 5 times a day, I eat pork and stuff, but I fast occasionally when it’s in Ramadan and I celebrate Eid. For some other non-practicing Muslims, maybe they don’t do them at all—they don’t pray 5 times a day, they eat pork, they don’t fast nor celebrate Eid. Or maybe for some other else, they don’t pray 5 times a day, but they don’t eat pork, either.

Jadi, tidak semua Muslim non-praktisi itu sama, lebih-lebih lagi pemercaya non-praktisi. Yang sama hanyalah satu, bahwa kami ini para pemercaya tapi bukan para praktisi. Punya niatan untuk pindah agamapun tidak juga, karena toh sebenarnya kami yakin-yakin saja kok dengan agama yang kami anut, hanya tidak mempraktikkannya secara religius saja.

Nah, seperti itulah ceritaku soal pemercaya non-praktisi, khususnya Muslim non-praktisi. Biasa-biasa saja, bukan? Dan berbeda dengan atheis ataupun agnostik sebagaimana yang mungkin beberapa dari kalian sangka, bukan?

So, I hope you finally got the point of what “non-practicing believer” terminology means, to whom it refers to, and I am really happy to share my story about being a non-practicing Muslim. I hope it could open your eyes (or even your friends’s and/or family’s if you wanna share about it to them too) that not a lot of believers practice what they believe, and it doesn’t become us—the non-practicing believers—not normal.

Remember, just because you don’t know about it before, doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist.

Same rule applied, that just because you don’t know about us before, doesn’t mean we don’t exist.

4 November 2016 2.49 sore

Annisa Erou

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